Sunday, July 29, 2012

Time moving too fast....

I know I have said in previous posts that I want this year to be over, but just not this weekend. As Tuesday comes closer, we are all just a little bit more on edge. Our moods are up and down, we are angry, sad, and frustrated. Frank keeps to himself, reading his Louis Lamour books that he's already read over and over for the past 20 years. (He takes after his Mom, who loved to re-read all her favorite books, she would be proud). Zack runs around with his friends saying "I only have a few days left to have fun", I try to explain that he is still going to have fun, just maybe more so in a different way. Me?, I can't get the house clean enough, enjoying "my" OCD right now, as I make sure that every area of the house is spotless, the plants watered, the laundry and dishes washed.

Our house with all Zack's friends vehicles. A lovely site to see! 
On Saturday, Rhonda, Peter and Mom came to Brevard so we could have some time together. I would rather stay at home in bed or cleaning, but thankfully, I KNOW I must get out and want to see my family, even if it's for a couple of hours. Frank is out working again, trying to catch up with his maintenance work and tells me to get out of the house and enjoy myself a bit.  Zack and his friend Trent are at the landfill disposing of some stuff from around the house and agree to meet for ice cream later in the day. We go to a couple of shops downtown, make it through the purse store without buying a new purse (my weakness) . We check out Moms booths in the Eclectic Cottage and find one in disarray, I realized that I haven't been in there to "fluff" it up since before Zack's surgery (June 6th). Mom and I straighten up the jewelry and check out the rest of her spaces. It's good to be out and do "normal" things.  We head to  Rocky's on Broad Street ( a quaint old fashioned soda shop in existence since 1942 , where Elvis Pressley is constantly playing in the background), Zack and Trent join us and flirt with the waitress' (friends from High School). Rhonda sits across the table from me, looking sad she asks if "we" are alright. (that's our phrase if we are not in sync) I realize that I haven't been "myself" (no kidding) and explain that I'm in a daze. I'm here, but not here. I know it is hard for those who know me to see me quiet, that's when they KNOW I'm not 100%, but soon I will be back to my Chatty Cathy self (God help you all LOL) .After a couple of hours, we decide it's time to head back to our respective homes.

I have stalled and put it off long enough. Sunday is the day I decide to get all of the business and personal bookkeeping done. It takes me all day in the home office, but I am so relieved to be ahead of the game. Ruth, our CPA would be so pleased to know that I am current with everything! Frank took time to go fishing and came back a bit more relaxed. Trent spent the spent the night and then hung out playing video games most of the day. It is amazing to talk with these young men. Trent explained that he just had his four wisdom teeth taken out and was nervous, he can only imagine what Zack must be feeling. Zack has shared that most of his friends have had, or currently have a family member with some form of cancer. They have somewhat of an understanding, but it is different when it is someone your age.  I make sure an talk with them one on one when Zack is not around, to see if they have any questions. I don't want them to be in fear any more than they already are and they are open to talk with.  Another friend invited Zack, Trent and several others up to his house for a pizza / pool party. ( the second one this weekend).  I know we will all be glad when we are done with the first treatment, perhaps he won't have the reactions like others have, perhaps he will stay strong  because he is already so healthy. One thing I know for sure, he has a ton of prayers out there for him and a lot of Love AND NO CANCER.... We are so far ahead already!! As I head to bed for a good nights sleep , I know that as I do, the next day will come, and then .... Tuesday will be here, but until then... we still have one more day! 

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