Monday, September 17, 2012

Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me...

What should have been a thirty minute shot of vincristine today, turned out to be an all day affair. Frank and Zack headed out to the clinic for his 9:30 am appointment. Once there, they gave him the shot, received the results of his labs which all showed that his numbers were good. His blood pressure became very low and all of a sudden he blacked out again, like at the hospital. They determined that he needed a blood transfusion. So, unprepared to stay the entire day they settled in. The blood didn't arrive until 3 pm. Frank ran out and got their lunch (Zack was able to eat only half), later he went out to buy a sweatshirt for Zack as he became very cold in the clinic.

Zack was frustrated, he wanted to get back home. He just left the hospital! He doesn't get mad often, but today, he was pretty much done with it all! After spending the day at the clinic, he and Frank arrive home around 5 PM. Within the hour one of his teachers is at the house going over his psychology lessons. Ms. G. explained how nothing is pressing, however, knowing how he likes to procrastinate she encouraged him to just get his work done. Breaking it down in one class a day, he could finish his work by Friday's and have the weekend to work on his Senior project. Well, it all looks good on "paper". We'll see. I have faith in him and the teachers.

I was able to stay focused at work and know that Zack and Frank had everything "under control." Because it rained all day, Frank's work wasn't affected by taking Zack for the day. It's amazing how easily, we have found the perfect balance with regards to whom can take Zack and when.

Tonight we declare a "fix your own meal" night. as we have left overs from yesterday's wonderful meal. Zack lays in bed, half asleep. He finally comes out to fix a plate , "hey I offered but he said he wasn't hungry". Frank sits at the table eating dinner while reading his book, me? Since I have completed watching the entire "Greys Anatomy"  series, I have moved on to "Damages". I need the distraction and having a series to watch, gives me something to look forward to no matter where I am. I can always "hide" by putting my ear phones in and watch the show. When doing so, no one is around and I am in my own little protected bubble.

The evening ends with me making amends. There has been some family issues that needed to be resolved with extended family.  I finally decided I was tired of being angry, hurt and in turn being hurtful! One phone call and we are back on track. Zack was teasing me about my "conscience", I told him I don't want to go to bed with an angry heart, it hurts everyone involved and that is not a way to live. No matter where my anger comes from, justified, not justified the only solution is to resolve it. Now, having made peace I can go to bed and sleep peacefully. Tomorrow is another day, and I pray Zack's energy will return. I am so glad that we have no where to go, can stay home and get caught up with things, plus rest. 

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