Saturday, February 9, 2019

Where has the time gone?

My how time has flown! It has been 6 years since he was first diagnosed and 5 (last summer) since his last treatment. The 3 month scans, x-rays, blood tests became every 6 months. The former adolescent is now a young man of 23, dealing with his own appointments and sharing his results (Cancer Free!!!) with US! We no longer live in fear, but a tiny bit of anticipation as the scan times comes around. 

As he concluded with his last set of scans, we were all set to celebrate the end of Drs. visits, poking needles and big machines! Well, the Doctors shared that "they" now are stretching the all clear to 10 years!! This is for sarcomas, they say, to make sure that survivors are not caught off guard by a relapse! Zack returned home with such disappointment and anger. He shares the news with us and as I begin to tear up, I remember his words early on in the treatments. "It"s not about you Mom, so don't cry!" I start to suck in the tears, he looks at me and says "Mom, I know what I said before, but one of us has to cry this time, and I'm so angry, I just can't!"  We hug, talk for awhile and I'm all of a sudden relieved.  Perhaps for a very selfish reason. For another 5 years we will know that he is OK, we will know that this will not return and I start to see it as preventative rather than a negative. Of course that's easy for me to say, but in all his wisdom Zack understands my feelings and accepts what must be. 

Where once his port was placed, now is a large tattoo with an octopus (which symbolizes regeneration). He plans on a treasure map and X marks the spot! He even had the surgeon removing the port to make another cut across the other! In fact that has been one of his passions, His entire back is covered as well as his arms. He is a walking piece of art! His other is his vehicles. He still has the "bumble bee" but it is now green and black, has a lift kit and new transmission thanks to Make a wish and generous donation of the Charlotte based Dodge dealership. 

He has had relationships, some good, some not so good. He is doing what any normal 23 year old would be doing. Trying to find joy in the simple things in life. A good job, someone that will love him and treat him right, and his biggest blessing other than continuing to be cancer free? His friends!! they are the same awesome young men that have been through the journey with him. They have an unbreakable bond and what more could a mother want for their child?

I am now signing off with best of wishes to all whom have followed our journey. Those who have loved and supported us and those in search of answers. I can be found on Facebook at One of the many faces of Ewing Sarcoma. Love, Peace, Healing wishes and Hugs!! Sabrina
Zack and Dad, Frank                                                

Zack and Me, Mom

Some of his many awesome friends and support system

The Bumble Bee no longer....

Zack with his Meme (grandmother)

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