Monday, April 1, 2013

Memories ... and blessings

Today was a wonderful day. Zack is feeling great and had plans to help a friend move his car to another location. Unfortunately  due to miscommunication that was not to be. He will have to do it another day. His truck is the "hauler". Whenever someone needs something moved, or hauled by a trailer, he proudly volunteers to do the job, mostly in exchange for gas. He is proud of the Bumble Bee. He loves when he can pick up his Meme and take her out. "Mom, Meme can get in my truck easier than your car." he says proudly. "Show off" is usually my response. Instead of hauling the car, he took Leah to Hendersonville to look at pawn shops for a guitar that was stolen from her.

Zack and Chris F. shortly after diagnosis
I once had a young boy of 16, standing in front of me wondering if he were going to play football, what it would be like to take half a day of classes at High School and be at the local Community College in the afternoons. What it would be like to be a Senior. All of this was gone with just a few words from a Doctor we had only met a few minutes earlier. As the months have passed, I have witnessed our son becoming a man. He very quickly learned exactly what was being done to him, when and how often. He knows his body better, I dare say than any kid his age who hasn't been through physical trauma, something I would NEVER wish on anyone! He knows what warning signs to look for when he needs blood or platelets. He knows when he can and can't have his treatments. He has so much compassion for those around him, without being a pushover. He has learned, what it has taken me until recently to learn. He is respectful of others, but doesn't take crap when unwarranted. He has sympathy and empathy, but doesn't tolerate when someone is playing the "victim". On several occasions he has told his friends, to "get over yourself!" You're upset because you can't see your girlfriend? Deal!!! He never brings up what he is or has gone through, he sees that as being a victim, but he won't think twice about sharing his feeling,when someone has control over their situation, and he sees them feeling sorry for themselves. He is quick to remind them, that they have put themselves there and they have control over their lives. He has put me in my place, respectfully, but he was right. I was feeling sorry for myself and he would have nothing to do with it. 

Today, he helped his friend and she in turn helped him put out more posters. We have set out 90 so far and today he added another 17 to the total. What we don't understand is in some places, he gets permission to put them up and they are then taken down by the next day. There are some things, we have learned, we have no control over and once he hands over or hangs the posters, it's out of our hands. 

Tomorrow he goes for labs and since his friends are out of school, one of them will go with him. Since he will not receive a transfusion he can go on his own and doesn't have to have "momma" tag along all the time. My plan, since I'm off tomorrow, is to go and spend the day with my own Mother. It's been awhile since I have had quality time with her and I am so looking forward to it. Anyone that knows me, knows that I do like to have fun and trick people every now and then. I called Mom tonight telling her I wouldn't be able to come, I simply wasn't up to it! She hesitated and said "that's okay, I can make do with groceries, don't worry sweetie", but I could tell in her voice, she was not quite sure if I was tricking her or not, finally she asked... "is this a... are you teasing me.. because it's April fools day?" I start to laugh and tell her it was indeed a joke. She started laughing, (I know that's not nice to do to your mother, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't). I tell her I'm coming, but since we still have no water heater, I will need to borrow her shower. It's a deal!! We agree to have lunch together and then shop for the rest of the day for groceries and whatever thrift store she wants to see.

I return home after work to dinner, which Frank has prepared. Zack fixed the salad once I brought home the fixings and all of a sudden Zack wasn't hungry. His appetite is up and down at times and we simply offer him food and leave it up to him whether he eats or not.  Like I said, he knows his body and what he should and should not do. We call up Sissy and Floyd, who live 20 minutes away and ask if he can come there to take a shower, they gladly offer it to us all, anytime.  It appears that our water heater will not be in until the weekend (when Zack and I will be in Hospital), so we will surely take them up on their kind offer. 

I end the evening with gratitude. My heart is filling again with joy. We have water to boil so that we may wash the dishes. We have a warm comfortable house and nice bed in which to sleep. We have been able to keep working in spite of all the appointments and trips back and forth to Asheville. We have well running, comfortable cars in which to drive to those appointments. We have amazing family and friends who have been with us before, during and will be here well after this part of our journey. We have each other for love, support and understanding. We have an amazing group of Doctors, Nurses and Counselors walking every step with us. Not to mention the two best  Doctors of Chiropractic, (Drs. Steve and Nancy) with whom we would all three be in terrible shape if not for their care. ( I was adjusted three times today because of staying on the computer too long this weekend.) NO I was NOT paid to say that!!! (smile) I'm a bit melancholy  but the song from "White Christmas" is so perfect "Instead of counting sheep, I fall asleep... counting my blessings."  
Drake and Zack during "the journey "

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