Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Some days are diamonds, Some days it gets OLD!!

New image from Amy, she noted, "go home well" across top, this is a program that takes the words from my blogs and creates this artwork. Too fun!!!
Zack had very little sleep last night, as did I. He moved from the bed, to the rocker and finally ended up on (as the nurses like to call) , the "chinese torture chamber" they call a sofa. There he sleeps better, but then the machine goes off every two hours, beep... beep..beep.... louder and louder. He hits the silence button, calls for the nurse.... beep...beep...beep.... After ten minutes or so she enters the room, changes out the IV fluid bag and we are back asleep. My mattress (one of two) decides to let the air out in the center. Yes, I have my head up high and my feet up high and my butt on the floor. If I wasn't so tired I too would laugh, it was quite the picture. Especially when trying to get out of it to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

We finally are awakened at 8 am. Surprisingly I am not grumpy, nor is Zack. He had two units of blood last night and we are told that he will get his chemo in about two hours. Good!! Let's get this started. We are already in the hospital for a full day (which we find out later, extends our exit day to Monday). Zack is in a much better state of mind than yesterday. As the evening progressed, he started to come back and through ice, cups, anything he could find. I could see a tiny bit of glimmer in his eyes. This morning he looks at me and says "MOM,  GET OUT OF HERE, GO TO WORK, I'M FINE!!!" I tell him he is my priority and if he needs or wants me to stay it is okay!! He says "NO, I want to be alone, I'm even going to text my friends and tell them to call first before coming to see if I'm up to visitors." He tells me he plans on sleeping most of the day anyway. With the understanding from him, the nurses and the doctor that I am just a phone call away, I shower, get dressed and head out the door by 9.

At lunch I call to see how he is. It is my old "boy" again! "Mom, I found some tires for the ATV, I can order them and they will be here by next week, THAT will give me something to look forward to." I can work on the ATV and start riding it around when I get home!" He then tells me he has had the chemo and is tired, but feeling okay. I remind him he is getting another two units of blood tonight and I let him know that they are coming (by ambulance, which he is kind of excited about) at 1 PM to bring him over to the clinic to start marking his leg for the radiation treatment. They don't need us there and since the doctor and I are off on the same day, it is agreed that they can give Zack the papers for us to sign. He is glad we are staying on course. I tell him that Dad is bringing some of the items he forgot and I will bring his X-box tomorrow so he can have some games to play. He asks if I could bring some more cold tea mix for the Kuerig. I agree and am pleased that he is drinking that instead of sodas and Gatorade all the time.

Just hearing him sound better is all I needed to make it through the day. I call Mom, whom I know has been crying, knowing that yesterday was so hard for him. I let her know that he is doing much better and fill her in on the details. I can hear her start to cry and know that she too is relieved he is better. She loves that boy as if he were her own, she was there for his birth and helped raise him for the first five years when we were in the Antiques shop and traveled for shows together for weeks at a time. They have a special bond that will never be broken.

I can go to sleep knowing that Frank is there to take over. It will be a long week, but we will make it the best way we can. One step, minute, hour, day at a time.

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