Saturday, February 9, 2013
Fears subsiding...... again.....
I have heard many times in my life "everything will seem better in the morning". In fact, based on my FB request for prayers last night and a dear friends exact response. She was spot on!! Our anxiety levels were pretty high. Zack turned his lights off early and went to sleep, angry and I'm sure, scared. Frank was flipping through channels at the speed of lightening and I simply worked on the bookkeeping until around eleven , just in time to crawl in bed and go to sleep. Luckily we were all able to get a good nights sleep. Frank was the first to wake and checked on Zack right away, he reported back that he was still sound asleep. I sat in front of TV and "played" on the computer until I heard him stirring in his room. I had received a couple of phone calls from Nancy and Mom, checking in on us all. Since I write the blog from my heart and don't hold back, I frightened them as well. I was happy to report that Frank still thinks that it is either a blemish or an ingrown hair. Either way, it is quite painful for him to walk or sit. THAT is the good news, as his tumor didn't cause any pain at all. But the bad news is the constant pain now.
Zack woke up around 10 am. He laid in his bed for quite awhile, so I went in to check on him again. He "allowed" Frank to put some alcohol on the area to keep it clean and said it still looked as it did last night, he also let me take a quick look. It is still very tight and round. Tuesday can't get here quick enough for me. (That's when I'll have the Doctor take a look at it). Zack said his friends were texting him and he just told them he wasn't feeling well. He was supposed to go to the grand opening of "Tractor Supply" store where a couple of his friends are working and even called Chris to tell him he won't make it. He finally came out of his room and laid on the couch. His mood was better, but he was still in considerable amount of pain. He mentioned that he wanted me to still go and see Meme (my mother). I told him I didn't feel right leaving him alone and it was to be a fun day for her and I, not a necessary grocery day. I teased that he and I could sit and watch chic flicks all day, to which he responded, "I'll be in my room then." Frank had been working on his truck all morning and came in to tell me he would be around the house to keep an eye on Zack. He too said I should take off and have some fun with Mom. So, I went ahead and let her know I was on my way. She was concerned that my thoughts would be with Zack and perhaps it would be better for me to stay home, but when I told her what both Frank and Zack said, she was game to go out.
We had a very good time. As Mom had predicted, I was a bit concerned with Zack, but when I checked in he would respond with "I'm feeling okay Mom, stop worrying!" He still didn't want his friends around. He simply laid on the couch, ate his chips and salsa, napped and watched his favorite shows. He liked the fact that he had the living room to himself and was able to do whatever he wanted. At one point during the day Chris stopped by and brought Zack one of the hats from the grand opening. Mom and I had a delicious lunch and hit several of the thrift stores in Hendersonville. The weather was so beautiful, we didn't even need our coats on (not that I ever wear a coat, I'm stubborn that way). It's hard to believe that our friends up North are in the middle of a blizzard.
We stopped by Mom's old work place to see my "sis" Cathy. She has always been very good to Mom and is a part of our family. It was then that Mom got disturbing news. One of the dear ladies there that Mom also worked with has stage four cancer. I knew something was up the last time I saw her there, she had on a lovely wig, yet looked pale and thinner. Mom was so upset, we made a quick exit as she didn't want the lady to see her reaction. She is a gracious and caring woman, and when the Doctors told her not to work anymore, she opted to dress up and be there for other women. What amazing strength and grace!!
We wrapped up our day with a visit to the grocery store for a few last minute items. We went to grab fast food for her and Bob (Frank had called and said he would have dinner ready for us when I got home). Bob was sharing his school work with me and no matter how hard I tried to understand what he was talking about, I was lost. He is getting his Associates degree, all online (since he is agoraphobic and can't go far from the house). I am so impressed that he chooses to do everything in his power to become a vital part of society and wants to help others with similar diagnosis. He will more than likely continue on with his Bachelors and possibly Masters degree. I don't get to spend much time with him these days, but when I do, he enlightens me each time. He takes such good care of Mom and without him, I would not feel as well about Mom being on her own. Don't get me wrong, she can take care of herself and has for many years, I just sleep better knowing Bobby is there with her.
Once I arrived home, Zack and Frank were in great moods. Zack prepared a salad and Frank the rest of dinner. Zack told me to stop seeing the "worst" about his leg and I simply told him that it's my job to be aware of what's going on and be prepared. It has nothing to do with seeing the worst. We didn't discuss it further, but I could tell he was having a hard time walking. Once dinner was finished, Frank and I relaxed on the couch and watched the latest Batman movie. Zack went into his room to watch more of his favorite show (Ridiculous) were there are tons of videos of people doing dumb things and getting hurt doing them (not my favorite to watch!! )
Tomorrow we are to go to our niece's Birthday party. Of course, it is all contingent on how Zack feels, something we have already established with friends and family. My anxiety level is much better and knowing he will be seen soon, doesn't hurt any.