Saturday, September 22, 2012

the tortoise and the hare... with update...

Even though I had a rough night's sleep, my pain level is way down. I realize that I did the right thing by going to Urgent Care. I am determined to force myself to sit and relax today, no matter how crazy it makes me. My son, on the other hand, wakes up with a bounce., he is full of energy (which is common with blood transfusions)  He is ready to go to his friends and work on his car, he just wants to get in his car and go anywhere.

One of our dear friends, Hans (an AA pilot who lives in Cary, NC) came to visit yesterday and spent the night. He and Frank were in the home office reviewing our mortgage and how to go about refinancing our house. Not my ideal way to wake up, but if it helps Frank feel more secure with our financial situation, I'm all for it.  Hans heads out to meet with his brother as Zack runs to the local eatery to grab us breakfast. (as usual the frig is empty, that's one thing we keep forgetting to do). I set up my laptop in front of the couch, turn on the TV and get settled in for the day. (My state of mind is so weird that it took me all day just to write the two blogs). 

Zack returns with breakfast and is so excited about running out again he leaves his two biscuits on the counter. I immediately call him, he can't believe he did that, we both laugh and agree to meet at the top of the driveway. He runs off to hang out with his cousin Darrick until he had to leave for work, then he moved on to the next friends house and it's pretty much been the same all day.  He came home long enough to eat dinner and we finally convince him it's time to stop. He has all this energy, but we don't want him to get worn out either. 

He returns home to take a shower after another short run to his friends house and asks to spend the night at Drakes. I'm already in bed and it's only 8 pm.  I'm in a bad mood, angry at everyone and everything and don't even know why. All day I'm emotional. Happy, Sad, Angry and Agitated. I'm felling better, but want to be alone and not deal with anyone or anything. Zack comes in the room to tell me of his day. He is so excited about everything he has accomplished, it's so good to see him this way. He looks at me and says "Mom, are you okay?" Well of course, I start crying and apologize. He shouldn't have to see me this way, he shouldn't have to worry about me. I tell him I'm not sure what is going on, I've been emotional all day. He reaches out his hand to me and tells me "Everything has probably built up Mom, this has been a rough week." He is such a sweet gentle person, going through all his stuff and yet sympathetic to my emotions. I agreed with him and teased about how he is going to make it worse if his dirty greasy hands leave a print on my bedspread, we both manage to get a good laugh in. I know it's more than that, it's something I don't have control over. I know my body and know when I am chemically imbalanced. Right now I feel like I did years ago when I was on steroids for poison ivy. I research the medicine and am reading it all out loud, Zack says "Mom... that's the same stuff I'm on for part of my treatment", one of them has a metal taste and has the same possible side effects. He tells me "hey, you kind of know what my stuff is like." I remind him that NOTHING I am going through is REMOTELY like what he has to endure. Part of him likes the idea that we have one of the similar medicine. In the research and see steroids mentioned on one of the meds, but I really don't know what I'm looking at. I decide to chill and call the pharmacist tomorrow.

We go over his school work and sync our apps on our phones. My list of 8 over due items, goes down to 3 which he plans on finishing tomorrow evening. With his Mom again laughing, Zack decides to make a quick exit. He takes his shower, comes into the room, gives me a hug and is out the door. Frank is chilling on the couch after putting in a full day of outside work and vehicle repairs, so all is quiet. I am hoping for a good nights sleep and waking up in a good mood.  Tomorrow is business bookkeeping... if I feel like it!

Update on Frankie Bones: Me... being me.... called and talked with the manager tonight. I explained what happened with Zack and his baseball cap. She apologized and said "there is no reason why he should EVER have to explain his condition!" she went on to explain that they have a woman that comes in there who is also under treatment and has told them she will not take off her hat, they welcome her and offer her a table in the lounge (which is where we sat). She said we would never allow someone to leave just because of the hat "rule", the owners are simply trying to present an image. I told her on her website introducing "Frankie" he is wearing a Fidora which could be misleading, she said "even Frankie checks his hat at the door, BUT your son will NEVER have to do that again!" She said she would love the opportunity to meet him and apologize in person and because she knows the appetite can be off with treatment, she would love to give us all free desserts. The bottom line: They have a rule, but it's not iron clad and we can feel welcome there anytime. I told Zack and he was like "Cool, it wasn't really that bad once I got used to it Mom, but Thanks for calling."

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